In many people’s minds today, the most offensive thing about Christianity is no longer Jesus’ exclusive claim to be our only hope for right relationship with God (John 14:6). Rather, it’s the New Testament’s uncompromising claim that sex belongs only in lifelong marriage between a man and a woman. So, how are Christians to relate to people who are not living by Christian sexual ethics? Paul answers this question.
Paul references a previous letter in which he told the Corinthians not to associate with sexually immoral people, and clarifies what he did and did not mean:
I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. (1 Cor. 5:9–11)
Many Christians today think they shouldn’t associate with non-Christians who aren’t living according to Christian sexual ethics—especially if they’re in gay relationships. But Paul is clear that this is not what he means. Instead, he’s calling Christians not to associate with other Christians who are engaging in ongoing, unrepentant sexual sin.
By Jesus’ standards, all of us are sexual sinners (Matt. 5:27–28). But Paul highlights the night-and-day difference repentance makes. In the very next chapter of 1 Corinthians, Paul once again lists various kinds of sexual and nonsexual sin as barriers to inheriting the kingdom of God:
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Cor. 6:9–11)
For me, as a Christian who has always experienced same-sex attraction, this passage has formed one section of the guardrail composed of multiple New Testament texts that explicitly categorize same-sex sexual relationships as sinful (see Rom. 1:24–32; 1 Tim. 1:8–11; Jude 7). But it has also acted like a banister for me to cling to for encouragement. Some of the very first Christians came to Christ with a history of same-sex sexual relationships.
Befriending a non-Christian who is engaged in sexual sin does not affirm them in their sin. They know we disagree with them in the most fundamental way. Likewise, our hope for our non-Christian friends is not that they would start to live by Christian sexual ethics without knowing Christ. It’s that they would put all their trust in Jesus as the one who paid the price for all their sin—just as He paid the price for ours. If someone puts their trust in Jesus, He becomes the Lord of all their life. But we should not expect someone to live by Christian ethics before they’ve been united to Christ. And if we understand the gospel for ourselves, we should approach our nonbelieving friends not with a smug self-righteousness, but with profound humility.
Adapted from No Greater Love by Rebecca McLaughlin (© 2023). Published by Moody Publishers. Used by permission.
