Is Authentic Masculinity Even a Real Thing?
Some say masculinity isn’t real, that it’s imaginary; just a stereotype or a social construct. Masculinity, it’s said, is like Santa Claus, a story we tell children to get them to behave in socially acceptable ways.
When we look for answers to the masculinity question, we find a lot of wild ideas.
When I did an initial Google search looking for an answer to the question, “How to be masculine?” one of the first articles that came up was about several ways to become a beast. Is being more masculine the same as being more like an animal? To become wild, unpredictable, a predator? After all, my favorite workout supplement company is literally named Animal.
The counterfeits are abundant. Usually, we can sniff them out. Yet, what is the authentic vision we can share for masculinity?
Understanding Authentic Masculinity Through God’s Design
Masculinity is a big topic. So where should we begin? By comparing men with women? What about comparing men to animals? If not, what is the right starting point? Is masculine only ever understood as opposed to feminine?
Maybe we should start at the beginning. “In the beginning, God created” (Gen. 1:1).
Masculinity as opposed to divinity. Man is not God. Things that exist are either made or not made; creature or Creator; finite or infinite; subject or king. Because a man is not God, he must be humble, the foundation of the masculine virtues.
So where do we go from here? Mankind is unlike the rest of the creation—we are creatures, but not merely creatures. When God made the rest of the creation, He said it was good, but after making human beings, he said it was “very good” (Gen. 1:31). The highlight, the climax of creation, is humankind.
Mankind is not animal. The two types of creatures God made are image bearers and everything else; in other words, ensouled and soulless. Masculinity, and all of humanity, as opposed to animality.
Males are moving targets; they are constantly developing. Every culture in the history of the world has distinguished between children and adults, between boys and men.
A man is not a boy; he was a boy. Masculinity, and all of adulthood, is understood as opposed to childishness.
A man is not a boy, so he must be responsible. This brings us to the final distinction. There are two kinds of adults: males and females, either XX or XY; masculinity as opposed to femininity.
A man is not a woman, so he must be chivalrous. Taken together, these distinctions and virtues form what I call the masculinity pyramid.
The Four Virtues of Authentic Masculinity
Chivalry. Responsibility. Discipline. Humility. And in this order.
The order is important; man is least like God and most like woman. Thus, humility is the foundation, then discipline and responsibility, with chivalry as the capstone of the masculine virtues.
Masculine virtues have to do with what a man is like: his moral character, the presence he carries in a room, and the culture he creates around him.
Living Out Authentic Masculinity
Don’t try to be God. Be content with being a man. Be humble.
Don’t be an animal. Have purpose, vision, and direction.
Be disciplined. Don’t stay a boy. Embrace a responsible orientation to our broken world.
Don’t fall into the trap of androgyny or hierarchy. Honor women with strength.
Steward well your gift of life, breaking generational patterns where necessary.
Make and maintain meaningful friendships; treat women like sisters.
Do something significant with your gifts, skills, and money.
Cherish and nourish your wife as Jesus loves you.
Pass yourself on and make an investment in the next generation.
These are the marching orders for a man who wants to follow God’s design for his life. It is simple but not easy.
Authentic Masculinity Begins With Identity in Christ
Jesus Christ is the true and wise one who knows who you are better than you do and calls you upward toward a life worth living, a life that makes a mark, that leaves a dent.
To participate in the mission of God is the Greatest Adventure, the Greatest Mission. Remember who you are: image bearer, beloved, adopted son, bestowed with dignity, with power, and with purpose. Now get after it. Despise the shame and endure for the joy set before you.
As God’s son, your identity is secure because of grace. You will fail, and you will get back on the horse. As God’s son, your potential is great. Know who your Father is.
Adapted from Authentic Masculinity: Leaving Behind the Counterfeits for God’s Design by Seth Troutt. ( ©2026). Published by Moody Publishers. Used with permission.
