Ask Better Questions to Expand Your World

Why You Must Ask Better Questions in Life

EXPANDING—OR SHRINKING—YOUR WORLD
The dimensions of your life expand or shrink in proportion to the questions you ask.

I remember the first time I asked two significant questions. Little did I realize how those two questions would change the trajectory of how I would approach potential opportunities throughout my life. I was a junior in college studying abroad at a school perched atop Mount Zion in Jerusalem in the fall of 1999. Our class was on a three-day field trip journeying through northern Israel and the Galilee region. Before dinner one evening, I went for a stroll along the eastern shore of the Sea of Galilee and noticed a commercial fishing boat arriving at a dock nearby. Since I was a kid, I’d wanted to go fishing on the Sea of Galilee with commercial fishermen, the guys who did this for a living day in and day out, to get a better understanding of some of the important stories in the Gospels. As I saw these fishermen, my heart raced with an idea. But then reality set in. I started thinking of all the reasons why they would say no. I shouldn’t ask. It’s silly. It’d be a waste of time.

Ask Better Questions to Overcome Fear

But then two questions popped into my head. What’s the worst they could say to me? Can I handle a no? Yes, the worst someone might say to me would be “no.” Or maybe “Absolutely not, you’re crazy.” Or a mocking laugh followed by a “Get out of here!” I thought further. So what if they do? I’ll never see them again. I can handle getting turned down. So I guess it makes sense for me to go ahead and ask . . .

With nothing to lose, I sauntered over to the crew and asked if I could speak to the captain of the ship. A man with a wizened face, leathery skin, and a stern look stepped forward and said his name was Menachem. “For most of my life I’ve wanted to go fishing on the Sea of Galilee,” I said. “Can I go out with you and your crew tomorrow on your boat? Put me to work all day—and for free. Actually, I will pay you fifty dollars if I can join you.”

In a thick Jewish accent and with no emotion, Menachem said, “I don’t need your money. Just meet us here at 6 a.m. tomorrow and you can come.” Then he turned and walked back to the boat to unload the day’s catch with his crew. I stood there stunned. A lifelong dream was about to happen. I was in. The next day’s adventure on the lake was one of the most memorable experiences from my entire semester in Israel. Memories of that time on the water remain seared in my mind to this day. And all I did was ask.

How to Ask Better Questions and Unlock Opportunities

Those two questions—What’s the worst they can say? Can I handle it?—have opened numerous doors and ushered in new opportunities I never would have imagined. Later that semester I spent the night with a Bedouin family sleeping soundly in their tent and eating the most incredible Middle Eastern cuisine. A few weeks later, I assisted Palestinian shepherds in the birth of a baby lamb in the Judean wilderness. A few years later I served as an AAA minor league baseball mascot for three seasons. I had my tuition fees covered for my master’s degree when I proposed a creative idea to the president. For twelve years I was mentored by Eugene Peterson up until he passed away. I’ve been a balloon handler in a Thanksgiving Day Parade. I’ve been able to interact with many people I’ve admired and respected. I say all this not to brag but to emphasize the immense power and possibility of asking good questions. In each of these situations, people have asked me, “How in the world did you get the chance to do that?” and my answer is always the same: “I just asked.” These two simple questions have shifted my outlook from Why? to Why not?

Ask Better Questions to Change Your Perspective

J.R. Briggs (DMin, Missio Seminary) is the founder of Kairos Partnerships, an organization committed to serving hungry leaders through coaching, consulting, and speaking. He serves on staff with the Ecclesia Network and Fresh Expressions, and as guest instructor for Friends University in the Masters of Spiritual Formation and Leadership program. His books include The Sacred Overlap, Fail, and Eldership and the Mission of God.