My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
God has given me wonderful women to link arms with every step of the way. But I’ve also run the gamut of relationships with friends in my life: good, bad, and not so healthy. Friendship was so much easier when I was a kid. If you didn’t get along with another kid, you just got mad and then at recess one of you would ask the other to go on the seesaw together, and all was well in the world once again.
As I sit here writing this, it occurs to me that there are women from my past whom I thought would be with me till the end, and yet for some reason we parted ways. I remember when my very best friend in the whole world and I were both going through some enormous life transitions. Never in my wildest dreams would I have predicted that our friendship would end. We never even had any conflict, but it happened, and it broke my heart. Why would God take away my partner, my shoulder to cry on, my rock? Most of our friendship had been based on being there for each other through severely rough waters (sickness, the death of a loved one, and divorce). I think some of my most intimate friendships through the last decade have been with women who have gone through intense trials, and we were able to bond together and pray and support each other in a special way.
I have another friend I walked with through similar circumstances. She was another rock for me and vice versa. And through a series of events and relocations, we lost touch. I hated it, and I didn’t understand why it happened. Was God pulling people out of my life that weren’t healthy, or was the enemy pulling away my best friends? Looking back, I can say it might have been a little bit of both. We women can get so intertwined in each other’s lives, and we rely so heavily on another person, we forget that God wants that place in our hearts. That’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s for our own good. I did learn to lean into God in a deeper and more intimate way. I learned He is the only source of real peace and He wanted to take my sorrows, confusion, and even fears. God longs to become number one.
After some time apart, I picked up the phone and called my BFF one day. I was going through my own painful marriage separation and I really needed my friend. I needed to hear her voice. I needed to hear from her that I was going to be okay because she had been there. And when I called her, she immediately listened, prayed, and did everything she could to help me. With a history like ours, as “battle buddies,” I knew we would always be there for one another, even if there had been a big bump in the road. It’s not like we immediately picked up where we’d left off, but we did continue to talk. Eventually, we went to see each other, and we shared mutual apologies without a lot of unnecessary drama. We had both had some healing in our lives, and today she and I talk often and do life together. Whatever happened in the past is long forgotten.
The other friend I mentioned reached out to me via e-mail not too long ago because she needed some prayer. When you build a deep friendship with somebody, and then that relationship pause button gets pressed, don’t assume it’s forever. God might have other plans for you both. My friend was at my house tonight for a prayer meeting, and instead of rehashing why we’d drifted apart, I just hugged her and said, “I love you and I’m glad you are here.” And I feel like that was a very good start.
We might have a relationship in our lives that, for whatever reason, looks dead. But maybe God just needed us to put it to the side for a season so He could do some healing. Maybe our lives are more like a merry-go-round than a seesaw, and God is orchestrating who gets to ride with us at any given time. Instead of thinking of friendships as completely over, maybe God just had that person in another place for a moment. Maybe she was on her way back to you the whole time, and you just needed to trust God and keep going. He knows who our best playmates should be.
To Think On
• Have you had friendships end unexpectedly? How did you handle it?
• Do you think God sometimes weaves us out of relationships for a greater purpose?
• Are there any friendships in your life right now that are pulling you away from a greater dependence on God?
• If so, would you be willing to give that relationship to God to do what’s best for both of you?
Thank You for knowing who I need and when I need them in my life. Please show me if any human relationship takes the place of my communion with You. I ask You to bless all of my friendships, and I give You permission to do what is needed. I want to link arms with the people You know are best for me.
In Jesus’ name.
Taken from: SHE RISES LATE AND HER KIDS MAKE HER BREAKFAST
Copyright © 2019 by Kerri Pomarolli
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97408
Kerri Pomarolli is a writer, comedian, speaker, and the ultimate Proverbs 32 Woman. She tours nationwide with clean comedy at top Christian and secular venues, with film and TV appearances. Known as “Hollywood’s Favorite God Girl,” she lives with her daughters in LA by the sea. She is the author of two books, Confessions of a Proverbs 32 Woman and She Rises Late and Her Kids Make Her Breakfast, available now from Harvest House Publishers. kerripom.com