How to Start the Habit of Discipleship In Your Family
What’s a small, regular habit that has a surprisingly large impact on your life? Maybe you drink more water during the day when you fill a big bottle of water in the morning, or breathing a prayer right after waking up helps your mental health, or you feel more rested if you turn on a worship playlist while driving the kids home from school.
One of my readers told me he turns on the dishwasher every night before bed. Another puts recipes on cards in a box right away instead of trying to find them online later. Yet another developed a habit of putting away her clothes right after taking them off. A friend of mine gives her toilet a quick swish with the brush every time she uses it, which means she never needs to worry about toilet stains when unexpected company comes over. (I probably should consider adopting that habit.) Little habits like these make a big difference in the cleanliness of their homes and their ability to find important things quickly.
The Importance of a Habit of Discipleship
What do all these little habits have in common? They are realistic, specific, and easy.
Realistic: Make sure your little habit is something you care about and that suits your family! Swishing toilets and making the bed are only realistic if you care about the results. If you don’t care about consistently clean toilets and beds, these habits aren’t realistic for you. Similarly, if you don’t want to memorize Scripture right now, don’t start there just because someone on social media made you feel like you should. Choose something else, like breath prayers at bedtime or worship music in the car. Pick something you care about.
Specific: You can’t just have a nebulous idea: Your little habit needs to be something you can picture in your mind. Instead of saying to herself I’ll clean the kitchen in the morning, one of my readers gave herself a specific task she could imagine in her mind: emptying the dishwasher right after walking into the kitchen. Similarly, we can take a great vision like “read the Bible with my kids” and turn it into something specific like “open the Bible and read one verse after breakfast.” We have more success with habits that are super specific.
Steps to Create a Habit of Discipleship
Easy: Motivation comes and goes, which means easy behaviors are more likely become habits than hard ones. Our culture of productivity constantly screams “go big or go home,” and the overachievers among us cringe at the slow process of spiritual formation. But research shows that the best way to true life change is to make little changes that add up over time. My friend didn’t try to clean the whole bathroom each day—she focused on a simple swish of the toilet instead. This was so easy she didn’t have any excuse not to do it. Similarly, we want our initial faith habits to be so easy there’s no reason not to do them.
When we set out to create a little faith habit that fits our unique family, we need to run it through each of these lenses.
- Is it realistic? (Do I want to do this? Does it suit my family?)
- Is it specific? (Can I picture myself doing this?)
- Is it easy? (Can I do this even on a busy day?)
Practical Examples of Faith Habits
Do you have an idea in mind? Write down this faith habit now.
Now it’s time make sure we’re making this habit as little and attainable as possible. Let’s say that you wrote I want to start reading the Bible as a family after supper. If you immediately pull out the big Bible and read a chapter a day, you’re probably going to lose steam quickly. Instead, how could you introduce the idea slowly, using the smallest possible habits?
Let’s point a shrink ray at our desired habit. Can we zap it into an even smaller version of the habit?
I want to start reading the Bible as a family after supper. *zap*
More specific: I will read a section from a children’s Bible storybook at supper. *zap*
More realistic: I will read a super short, highly engaging devotional every night at supper. *zap*
Easier: I will read a single Bible verse each night after we pray for our food.
Long-Term Impact of a Habit of Discipleship
The key here is choosing something short—ideally something that takes less than a minute.
As you’re thinking of the smallest possible version of a habit, you might start to wonder if it can possibly make a difference. But imagine that there’s this heavy steel door sealing off possibilities for family faith conversations in your life. That door is labeled with all the struggles and obstacles: “Too busy,” “Too ill-equipped,” “No one cares,” and “Nothing’s worked before.” Starting one little habit cracks the door open. That leverage shift means more little habits can push it open wider, until your obstacles fall away. You won’t stay in this place of small habits forever, but you get to start little, pointing your little ones to the God who cares and is trustworthy, slowly building on their knowledge and understanding as they grow.
Once you understand how to boil your goals down to habits that are almost absurdly little, you’ll be well on your way to creating ongoing fruitfulness in your family’s faith life.
Jesus said,
“I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. . . . When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father.” John 15:5, 8
As we intentionally abide in Jesus through the little habits we create, God will work in our kids’ lives to grow good, lasting fruit.
Christie Thomas is a mom and writer with over a decade of experience as a children’s ministries director. She deeply believes that every Christian parent can confidently nurture deep faith in her kids through little habits that add up over time. Her devotionals and children’s books help parents cultivate faith-filled moments with their kids. She lives with her husband and three boys in Canada.
Taken from Little Habits, Big Faith: How Simple Practices Help Your Family Grow in Jesus by Christie Thomas. Copyright © 2024. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
