If you were to use one word to sum up your entire faith story thus far, what would it be? Believing, hopeful, trusting, or persevering? What about questioning, waiting, or searching?
A Journey Through Doubt Is Not the End of Faith
When you think of the apostle Thomas’s faith story, you might label it doubting. But doubt didn’t characterize Thomas’s entire walk with Jesus. In fact, long before doubt was attached to his name, Thomas was characterized as a bold, logical leader.
When the disciples tried to persuade Jesus to avoid returning to Bethany to raise Lazarus, it was Thomas who rallied the others and “said to his fellow disciples, ‘Let’s go too so that we may die with him’” (John 11:16, csb). And when Jesus declared that he was going away to prepare a place for them and that his disciples knew the way to where he was going, it was Thomas who forthrightly responded, “Lord, … we don’t know where you’re going. How can we know the way?” (John 14:3-5, csb).
It seems that for having grappled with God, Thomas was gifted a fuller understanding of God. Which brings us to the defining moment in Thomas’s life. Jesus had risen from the grave that morning, but he had not yet appeared to all his disciples:
“…Jesus came, stood among them, and said to them, ‘Peace be with you.’
Having said this, he showed them his hands and his side. So the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord…But Thomas (called “Twin”), one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples were telling him, ‘We’ve seen the Lord!’
But he said to them, ‘If I don’t see the mark of the nails in his hands, put my finger into the mark of the nails, and put my hand into his side, I will never believe.’” (John 20:19-25, csb)
A Journey Through Doubt During Grief and Loss
And friend, in our own darkest moment and questions, we were Thomas. You were Thomas. I was Thomas. We knew God, but then traumatic loss occurred and the devastation we experienced seemed incongruent with God’s character. And so we wrestled.
A Journey Through Doubt Can Lead to Honest Wrestling
In grief and disappointment, I declared that if God didn’t show up in my Dark Night, then he wasn’t the loving God I believed him to be. In pain and disillusionment, you may have challenged God’s sovereignty, questioned his goodness, doubted his mercy, or cast aside his grace. Like Thomas, you may have made such a specific demand of God that you were certain your ultimatum would never—could never—be met.
A Journey Through Doubt Leads Us Toward Jesus
But here’s the thing about Thomas missing Jesus the first time: It ultimately served to draw Thomas further into fellowship with Christ. Thomas may have missed Jesus once, but he certainly wasn’t going to miss Jesus a second time. And so, Thomas lingered. He lingered around the people and places of God, hoping to get a glimpse of his risen Lord.
A Journey Through Doubt Requires Lingering With God
You too have lingered, my friend, and accepted the invitation to be drawn further into fellowship with Christ. Although burdened by uncertainty, you chose to do the hard work of excavating your grief and inviting God—the true God—to meet you there. You’ve been on a journey, and like Thomas with his fellow disciples, you’ve been anxiously awaiting an encounter with Jesus.
A Journey Through Doubt Ends With Greater Revelation
We’re not told why Jesus delayed a week in revealing himself to Thomas. And ultimately, why he delayed doesn’t matter. What matters is that Jesus came for Thomas.
John continues in John 20:26-29:
A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”
Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
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When Faith Meets Doubt God Knows What We Need
Neither physical walls nor the walls of Thomas’s locked heart could keep Jesus out. Instead, in his time and according to his plan, Jesus met Thomas with profound and specific love. Notice that Jesus didn’t rebuke Thomas for his doubt, nor did Thomas have to deliver his demands to Jesus’ face. Jesus already knew. And so Jesus simply gave Thomas what he needed to believe—permission to touch his scars.
We don’t know if Thomas actually touched Jesus’ glorified body, but what Jesus gave, a fuller revelation of himself, was enough to warrant a proclamation of faith and praise, “My Lord and my God!”
Dear friend, have no fear that by a certain milestone or after a specific calendar date, your journey of mourning the God you thought you knew and coming to know more fully the living God must reach its conclusion. You will always be journeying with God. Comfort and assurance come in knowing that he who stormed the gates of hell also knows the locked places of your heart—places you may not even be aware of. God knows exactly what you need to believe, and just as he did for Thomas, he will find you there.
Adapted from Mourning God: Grieving Loss, Wrestling with God, and Finding Your Way Back to Life by Tiffany Stein, releasing in March 2026.
About the Author
Tiffany Stein is a writer, speaker, and ministry leader passionate about helping people navigate grief, suffering, disappointment, and faith. Through biblical encouragement and honest storytelling, she helps readers discover God’s presence in seasons of loss and find hope in the midst of difficult questions.
