The One and Only

Family, Podcast

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When I was a young girl, my dad told me a story about a well. He said, “Human beings are like wells. Every time we interact with someone, we take a little bit of our water to give them something to drink. But over time, if we continue to give from our well without ever filling it up, we eventually hit the bottom of our well, and run out of fresh water—we find that we’ve got nothing left to give but mud.”

In my field of work, it’s easy to give, and give, and give without personally recognizing my need to get filled up again. But filling my well isn’t something my husband can do for me. It’s not something my children can do for me. It’s not something my family or friends can do for me. Oh, they can certainly add sweet drops of water into my life, but as far as filling up my well, only one relationship can do that for me—or for any of us.

Simply put, our relationship with Jesus is the one and only relationship that can fill up our wells to the point of overflowing. In understanding and receiving His deep love for us, we allow ourselves to be filled up in a way that only God can do, because it’s not of ourselves—it’s supernatural. And out of that overflow of love we have what we need to give, to serve, to sacrifice, and to move from selfishness to holiness.

Within the context of our relationship with Christ, we get a front-row seat to sacrificial love displayed toward us, in the form of Jesus laying down His very life in exchange for one thing: relationship with us. Oh, what deep, deep love! When we can finally grasp that love for us, we gain the power and motivation we need to offer that same selfless love to another. Imagine what that could do in our lives. Imagine what that could do in our relationships. Imagine what that could do in our marriages.

My prayer for you reading this book today is that no matter how empty your well may feel, your understanding of God’s love for you will move from logical to experiential. No matter how thirsty you are in your life and in your marriage right now, I pray that you will come to the waters of Christ and receive. In the book of Isaiah, the Lord gives a beautiful invitation to those who are thirsty:

Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare (Isaiah 55:1-2).

Come, says our Lord. Come and be satisfied. You don’t have to earn it. You don’t have to buy it. You don’t even have to deserve it. You simply have to receive it. Because only through the love of our God can you be filled.

Filled enough to give.

Filled enough to serve.

Filled enough to sacrifice.

Filled enough to move from selfishness to holiness.

Filled enough to choose marriage. Because choosing marriage has the power to make you better along the way.

Choosing Marriage, by Debra Fileta
 Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor and the author of True Love Dates. A passionate speaker, she challenges people to have a psychologically and spiritually healthy approach to relationships. Debra and her husband, John, have been happily married for more than a decade and have three beautiful children.

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