Seeking God’s Wisdom in Dating
A Liturgy for Dating
Here is where I am, O Lord—
I find myself drawn to one in whom I see
a striking beauty of personhood, a depth of soul,
a sensitivity to goodness and truth,
a vibrant intentionality of life and choice.
I praise you, God, for creating such a person
and displaying in them a unique expression
of your glory.
I thank you that my path has crossed theirs
in this time and place in history. I am
increasingly drawn to this one you have
created, and I desire to know them more.
But I am finite and limited, and I cannot
see the path that lies ahead
on this journey toward eternity.
So give me wisdom, Lord.
Do not let my emotions get ahead of me.
Honoring One Another in a Christ-Centered Relationship
In the time that I spend with this your beloved
child, let me not act selfishly. Let me not take
lightly my constant responsibility for the heart
and well-being of another, regardless of the tenor
of my own feelings and desires.
Let me remember that this relationship
does not affect only the two of us.
It exists in that greater web of loving and
sacrificial bonds of parents and grandparents,
family and friends, who had already invested
years of nurture and care and love and prayer
and tears and delight in this person,
long before I ever met them.
So let me act now and always, in this
relationship, in ways that would honor
and affirm the tender investment of all
who love this person. Let me build on
that good foundation, that whatever the
two of us create together would be a
blessing to all who know us.
Building a Relationship on Wisdom and Grace
Indeed, O Lord, give us in our shared hours
wisdom to build well, that even if all
we cultivate in partnership
is a small garden where friendship can grow,
it will still in its own humble way
be a place of encouragement and beauty
that would bring a smile and a joy to passers-by.
Or if we awaken one day to the understanding
that what we were creating all along
was not just a garden of friendship,
but an enduring love,
and the foundations of a castle,
and a tended ground where the
remainder of our lives and the lives of any
children and grandchildren, and all of
our friendships and all of our service
to you, O God, would be lived out together
in a bond of wedded love and intimacy,
then all the more reason we should build well
and with intentionality and unselfish love
here at the beginning.
Praying for Patience and an Eternal Perspective
Give me this wisdom, therefore.
Give me this grace.
Give me patience and an eternal perspective
that would govern well my choices today,
and in all the days to follow.
Do not let my emotions
get ahead of me, O Lord.
Let me love you by loving this person well,
and in kindness and self-restraint
let me always choose their greatest good
as if it were my own.
Amen.
“How beautiful you are, my darling. How very beautiful! Your eyes are doves. How handsome you are, my love. How delightful!”
— Song of Songs 1:15–16a
Excerpted from Every Moment Holy: Rites of Passage by Douglas Kaine McKelvey (copyright YEAR, published by Rabbit Room Press)
