Like many pastors conducting premarital counseling for couples, you probably feel like you never have time to cover everything. Homework is crucial, but often, the young man and woman fail to complete that. I’ve discovered some vital questions the couple might ask each other during your counseling sessions. Prayerfully, the answers to these 30 questions will help the couple understand the importance of knowing one another well.
Key Questions to Discuss During Premarital Counseling
- What disciplines do you practice to abide in Christ every day?
- How important is it for us to attend the same church and have the same beliefs?
- How important is it to regularly have a godly community surrounding us?
- How do you discern between God speaking to you and your own thoughts?
- How do you feel about the phrase, “Marriage is not about making you happy; it’s about making you holy?”
- What made you realize you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me?
- Would you say love is a feeling or a choice? From what are you basing your answer?
- What would you say are the two biggest problems in our relationship?
- Is there any trait in me that you expect to change after we’re married, and why?
- Does God arrange one soulmate or several options for a potential spouse? Why?
- How does marriage model Christ’s relationship to the church?
- Has anyone expressed concerns about us marrying, and if so, what concerns?
- What will you do if you find yourself in an unhappy marriage?
- How do you feel about divorce? When is it biblically allowable?
- Who do you believe should be considered the head of the household and why?
- What is your understanding of biblical manhood and womanhood?
- What do you expect my responsibilities to be? And yours?
- Define what a helper or help-meet is according to God’s Word.
- Are you handy? Historically, how have you dealt with repairs?
- Explain how you’ve been equipped to run a household.
- What does submission mean when it comes to our marriage?
- How do you plan to handle disagreements over chores and other topics?
- How does the Bible differ from society’s view on gender roles? Where do you stand and why?
- Are you bringing any unpaid debts into our marriage?
- Who will handle the bills? If new debts incur, how do you plan to pay those off?
- Are you good with money? Do you work well with a budget?
- How do you respond during a financial crisis?
- How important is it to have both a savings and an emergency account?
- How do you plan to prepare for retirement or a potential disability?
- What are your convictions regarding what God’s Word says about tithing?
Conclusion
Of course, there are 100 more questions we can think of, but these at least get them thinking about deeper issues, past the normal inquiries like, “Should we rent or own?” or “Do you want children?”
Now it’s your turn, what questions should couples really be asking each other? Questions about besetting sins? Sexual expectations? In-law relationships? Child discipline? With your help, these men and women can delve deeper and know better how to pray for their upcoming union.
Married for over 22 years, Tez Brooks is in full-time ministry, offering premarital counseling to couples. His articles appear in Christian magazines across the country. Learn more at TezBrooks.com
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