We built a log home twenty-five years ago. Sadly, it burned to the ground, and we needed to rebuild it. Log homes are built in a parking lot somewhere, where all the logs are cut, notched, carefully fit together, and then numbered. Then they disassemble the structure and reverse load it onto ten 18-wheelers. The idea is that the bottom log will be the first one off the truck and the top log will be the last log off the truck. It all works great unless you mix up the trucks.
Why Reverse Engineering Your Life Matters
Why am I telling you this? To build the life, the faith, and the relationships you want, it will take some advanced planning and a little reverse engineering. You have to get things in order, get your fields ready, then start building. Take a little of King Solomon’s wisdom: “Put your outdoor work in order and get your fields ready; after that, build your house” (PROVERBS 24:27, NIV).
Building a Strong Foundation in Faith and Relationships
Let’s say your goal is a thriving marriage. It’s tempting to want to put that crowning log up first, but a marriage is like a timber home, and it is all the logs underneath your relationship that give it support. Get the trucks in the right order, offload and set up the logs of trust and authenticity that go on the foundation first, and you will really have something.
Making a Plan and Taking Action
To make progress in your life, you are going to need a plan. Some people are like bees and buzz from flower to flower, activity to activity. There’s no plan other than to collect some honey along the way and get home with it. Don’t get me wrong. I think that’s terrific, and I’ve got a little bumble and a little bee in me too. But there is value in having a bit more of a plan.
Other people love a plan, but they seem frozen by the fear of not getting it right or of earning someone’s disapproval with a misstep. They spend all their time concocting their plan but then never seem to get the wheels up. I’m not against planning itself, but when we defer acting once we have a plan, that will catch up to us and scuttle our God-given ambitions.
I fly a small airplane, and before I take off I punch in the frequencies of the place where I’m going to land, even though it might be hours away. This gives me one less thing to manage in the air. We need to do the same with our lives.
Each of us knows where we are in our relationships, career, and faith, and where we want to be someday. Punch in those numbers, and then head in that direction. Yes, there will likely be a few unexpected things that happen en route. Wrap your intellectual arms around this reality and get going.
Choosing the Right Materials for Your Life
Another part of building a strong and lasting log home, though, is choosing the right kind of wood. Wood is like dessert for termites; a lodge made entirely of logs for them is like a swimming pool of Dippin’ Dots for me. So if you want to build a home that is resistant to bugs, the trick is to find a type of wood that termites don’t like, such as cedar. The same is true of the things we’re trying to build in our lives. Build with people and things that are resistant to unnecessary drama. Choose the friends who will help you meet your largest challenges and make you resistant to the damage those challenges can present.
Let’s strive to cultivate genuine, positively influential friendships. A true friend will want to understand your desires and guide you toward success without imposing their will on you or trying to control you. Let’s work on being this kind of friend and adopt a more considerate and lasting approach than control can ever offer. Act like a guest in others’ lives, not an owner telling everyone how to remodel the room.
We should also be looking for this kind of friend. Make sure you have a couple of people you can get super real with, who will push you to be the best version of yourself but won’t try to take over. These people won’t tell you what to do, but instead will remind you of who you are becoming. Friendships will always be tricky but choose to fill your life with a couple of genuine, influential friends who will journey with you toward authenticity and fulfillment.
Think about what it is that you’re trying to build today. What do you need to prioritize as you’re laying the foundation for that goal? And who do you need working alongside you to help you withstand the inevitable challenges?
God has given you agency to build something in your life that is both beautiful and lasting. Use the right materials.
Adapted from Catching Whimsy: 365 Days of Possibility by Bob Goff. Copyright © 2024 by Bob
Goff. Published by Thomas Nelson. Available wherever books are sold.
